History

Why do people cheat?

No one has cheated on me in recent years. But I was just thinking back to a relationship from ... about six years ago. I'm just curious to know. Is it really more difficult to tell someone that you want to sleep with other people than to just leave them?

Except he didn't even want to leave me. Begged me to stay. If you desire to sleep with other people, how can you want to stay in your current relationship? (Other than people who willingly have healthy open relationships.) What made him feel the need to cheat and then beg me to stay Things ended so badly after that.

Sometimes I kind of wish I could just ask him. Why did you do it? Why did you break my soul? I just couldn't comprehend it and I fell into a deep depression for a few months. Tortured myself with my thoughts every minute of every day. I wanted to be with him and I wanted to hurt him at the same time.

It still hurts when I think about it and it makes me hope that he felt some ounce of the pain that I felt. I've let go of it for the most part, really. But it is a feeling you never forget. I suppose I'm glad that I had that lesson. I could never do that to anyone else.

Which is why I'm glad I have the relationship I have now. I trust him with everything I have. And I think even if things did go badly in the future, I could handle it better. I think if it ever happened again I would know how to condense the pain and not hurt for so long. Pick myself up faster.

I don't even know why I'm thinking of these things right now. I guess it's because of the books that I read (chick lit). And I'm in philosophy class and I'd rather philosophize on my own about things other than class matters.

Philosophy of Religion turned out to be not as enticing as some of my other religion classes. Unfortunately.